Sunday, September 07, 2014
Zante Diary
Zante Diary - travelling
For our first visit to Zante since 2001, when we were both young, slim and beautiful, popular and rich, we decided to go back to the same hotel (Contessina) in The same resort (Tsilivi) as back in those halcyon days. Did we do this to relive former glories? Or perhaps because the resort is so fabulous? Maybe it was because we were too lazy to trawl through hundreds of brochures and websites to find somewhere else to go? You decide...
Knowing the hotel and area quite well, we decided to book direct, which meant taking our chances with Sleazy Jet, and all the commotion that can come with that. And hey presto, as we are checking in we are told that the flight is already delayed by 15 minutes, and this is BEFORE the bastard Italian ATC goes on strike - joy of joys...
As we now have so much time to,kill we head off for something to eat at Jamie's Italian - where I order squid to start. Yes, I'm off to Greece and I order a portion of their national dish for eight times the price before we get there - I really don't know what goes on in my head sometimes...We do of course make sure we get some beers in, as the delay to our departure grows by another half an hour, a nice drop of Pinot Grigio can usually see off any heartache!
With only an hour's delay and having the surprise of finding we have V.I.P. boarding because we're in the front row, we get called to the gate and are soon queuing air bridge having been allowed through before all the passengers have been let of the incoming flight. There is also a wheelchair bound customer who the ground is causing the ground staff great consternation. Not only is he al large man, which means it takes 3 burly men to wrestle him from his own wheelchair into an aircraft friendly one before he can board, but a argument the ensues as to whether the dry batteries for his own electric wheels will be allowed on the plane "in case they explode". Good grief...
We do eventually get underway and it's at least a nice new aircraft (Airbus 320 for any fellow plane nerds out there) and sitting at the front we can stretch our legs out (well, not so far for Lisa obvs) and watch every single passenger on the plane as they go for a pee.
Much entertainment is provided for me by an extremely fit and attractive blond girl who decides to stand right next to me and wriggle about inches from my face. The fact that she is wearing a pair a pink denim shorts so tight you can tell her religion (ahem...) is not lost on me and the constant thrusting of her crotch towards my face is, to be honest, far from unpleasant. I'm very intrigued to see, disappearing up the inside of her thigh and into her shorts, the beginnings of a tattoo. The rest of the flight passes in blur, contemplating how far up the tattoo goes and where it may eventually finish. Some of the contemplation is done in the plane toilet...
And then amazing things happen. The captain, having no doubt turned the turbos up, get us in only 40 minutes behind schedule. Then, as we are the front row, we are off the plane and in the terminal before some on the flight have got there bags from the overhead lockers. Before we can believe it, we have our bags, have got to the head of the taxi queue, and are on our way! Within 30 minutes of landing we are at the hotel, being shown to our room, and in touching distance of our first Mythos of the holiday. What a touch!
For our first visit to Zante since 2001, when we were both young, slim and beautiful, popular and rich, we decided to go back to the same hotel (Contessina) in The same resort (Tsilivi) as back in those halcyon days. Did we do this to relive former glories? Or perhaps because the resort is so fabulous? Maybe it was because we were too lazy to trawl through hundreds of brochures and websites to find somewhere else to go? You decide...
Knowing the hotel and area quite well, we decided to book direct, which meant taking our chances with Sleazy Jet, and all the commotion that can come with that. And hey presto, as we are checking in we are told that the flight is already delayed by 15 minutes, and this is BEFORE the bastard Italian ATC goes on strike - joy of joys...
As we now have so much time to,kill we head off for something to eat at Jamie's Italian - where I order squid to start. Yes, I'm off to Greece and I order a portion of their national dish for eight times the price before we get there - I really don't know what goes on in my head sometimes...We do of course make sure we get some beers in, as the delay to our departure grows by another half an hour, a nice drop of Pinot Grigio can usually see off any heartache!
With only an hour's delay and having the surprise of finding we have V.I.P. boarding because we're in the front row, we get called to the gate and are soon queuing air bridge having been allowed through before all the passengers have been let of the incoming flight. There is also a wheelchair bound customer who the ground is causing the ground staff great consternation. Not only is he al large man, which means it takes 3 burly men to wrestle him from his own wheelchair into an aircraft friendly one before he can board, but a argument the ensues as to whether the dry batteries for his own electric wheels will be allowed on the plane "in case they explode". Good grief...
We do eventually get underway and it's at least a nice new aircraft (Airbus 320 for any fellow plane nerds out there) and sitting at the front we can stretch our legs out (well, not so far for Lisa obvs) and watch every single passenger on the plane as they go for a pee.
Much entertainment is provided for me by an extremely fit and attractive blond girl who decides to stand right next to me and wriggle about inches from my face. The fact that she is wearing a pair a pink denim shorts so tight you can tell her religion (ahem...) is not lost on me and the constant thrusting of her crotch towards my face is, to be honest, far from unpleasant. I'm very intrigued to see, disappearing up the inside of her thigh and into her shorts, the beginnings of a tattoo. The rest of the flight passes in blur, contemplating how far up the tattoo goes and where it may eventually finish. Some of the contemplation is done in the plane toilet...
And then amazing things happen. The captain, having no doubt turned the turbos up, get us in only 40 minutes behind schedule. Then, as we are the front row, we are off the plane and in the terminal before some on the flight have got there bags from the overhead lockers. Before we can believe it, we have our bags, have got to the head of the taxi queue, and are on our way! Within 30 minutes of landing we are at the hotel, being shown to our room, and in touching distance of our first Mythos of the holiday. What a touch!
# posted by Bucko! @ 9:23 AM 
