Bucko's World

Thursday 20^th

Did you know that many common and everyday objects you use around the office and home were originally conceived with totally different purposes in life or even invented completely by accident?  For instance, the glue used on Post It notes was originally part of work by a 3M scientist to create the world’s strongest adhesive – boy did he get that wrong (but with $1bn in annual sales for 3M I think he kept his job).  Or that Cling Film was invented by a bloke who was trying to make a hard plastic cover for his car – oh dear - fail.  Or that the guy who invented Cyanoacrylate (Super Glue to you and me) was trying to make clear plastic gun sights for sniper rifles?  In fact for two of these products their true origins are so poorly known that urban myths about them have regularly been passed off as common knowledge; Super Glue was invented to close battlefield wounds during WWII (nope, although it was used during The Vietnam War for that) and, similarly, that during the same conflict Cling Film was used to cover the wounds of burn victims to keep them sterile (plus it won’t stick to the burn..), but this is again wrong, (although, again, the has become a secondary use of the product).

It does appear that some other uses have also been found for these products.  Last night, for instance, someone obviously super glued my eyes together, and then wrapped my head up in cling film.  They probably left a Post It somewhere explaining why they did this, but it must have fallen off during the night.  Either way, trying to prise my eyes open this morning took a super human effort, as did removing the cling film, you never can find the fucking edge….

This led to a rather tardy start to the day and the eventual decision to keep it all very easy.  A walk on the beach followed by lunch anywhere on 5th we’re not too scruffy for.  Ironically it turns out to be a restaurant with it own premium clothing store attached.  But first the shuttle bus to the beach.

Once there, we decide to have a stroll along the Pier.  While not as long, or as burnt down, as your average British pier, it’s fair to say that the view when you look back along it to the shore is infinitely better.  Miles of sun drenched white sand and palms trees populated by bikini bodies from side to side versus snow covered pebbles backed by dreary arcades and hankie topped pensioners in stripy deck chairs. 

The view out to sea is pretty good too and we are kept entertained for a good hour watching a dolphin fishing for lunch all the way around the pier, and seeing huge Pelicans doing the same thing, but with more dive bombing of the fish involved.  We are also treated to the sight of a beautiful Osprey gliding over the water before a quick as you like zip into the waves and up and away with a frankly rather surprised looking fish in its claws.

Our bus driver had warned us that it was going to rain today, and that if it did, he couldn’t pick us up from the pier, but would meet us outside the Bonnie Banana on 5^th.  Well, although it wasn’t raining we decided it would be a good place to start our search for something tasty for lunch.  Possibly the heat, hangover or some other agent has got to us because we decide it would be a good idea to walk from the pier to 5^th Avenue “to clear our heads”.  Here’s a tip, a bracing walk by a wind and rain lashed English beach may well cover that requirement; a walk 6 blocks in 90F plus heat doesn’t.  By the time we reach our destination I’m hallucinating the sounds of Ice Cream vans and of ice tinkling into a cut glass tumbler.

 We can’t see the restaurant anywhere, and it’s only when we are outside a place called Tommy Bahama’s that I realise I possibly misheard our driver earlier.  I think my name is much better, and will now form a chain of restaurants under the moniker and world domination will ensue.  Rather strangely, to either side of the restaurant are ladies and gents clothing stores of the same name.  If you’re into deck shoes, pastels colours and sweaters that only get worn around your shoulders, you’re in for a treat.  Hopefully they won’t make us buy something to change into from our sand crusted and sweat soaked clothing……..

It’s fair to say that the place does look good, and they don’t bat an eyelid at two confused and dangerously dehydrated limeys suddenly staggering into their midst.  Obviously Brits and stupidly walking somewhere is a common occurrence here…

  Due to the previously mentioned neural dysfunction we can think no further than ordering the house burgers, which are absolutely superb, and pints of Yuengling to wash it down with.  The waiting staff are pretty cool too, all asking us where we are from, and if we enjoying Naples.  If there were more places like this it would be better we say!  What I wasn’t expecting was a list of all the other TB’s in the area.  Irony + Americans = Fail.

A quiet day is completed by the cop-out/default choice of the Riverwalk Restaurant and more fabulous fresh fish.  We just avoided a huge lash down (as predicted by our driver, just three hours too late…) and arrive to find all plastic side panels in the place down to protect the diners from the elements.  This has had the unfortunate effect of turning the place into a sauna and I’m about to resort to putting ice cubes down my shorts when we manage to snag a waitress and ask her to raise them back up.  But she’s too short, and requires the assistance of another waiter.  He in turn cannot figure out how to raise it, and so a third person joins in.  Eventually a fourth man appears, carrying what appears to be a crowbar and proceeds to bash the living shit out of the panel, until the manager points out that it has simply fallen off the cable that pulls it up.  It’s not hard to see why he is in charge….

With an early start planned for tomorrow – our last full day – we call and early end to proceedings and head home to do some damage to the wine and cheesecake supplies currently tucked up in the fridge.  It looks like the weather’s going to be good, so perhaps an early visit to a secluded beach will be in order….