Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Florida 2013
Saturday 15th
For our last full day in Ft Myers we head off the the $6.00 toll bridge and the beautiful drive across the causeway to Sanibel and Captiva. There's the promise of critter filled nature trails to follow, magnificent beaches, and good tucker back at the Over Easy Cafe. At least a couple of these prove to be true...
Our first stop is at The Wildlife Refuge Center (sic) where there is the promise of two hour tram ride to see the best in refuged wildlife Florida has to offer. Except it's closed. The "pavement" is being relaid so the bus tour is off. I was a bit confused at first as to why the bus would be driving there, until I remembered we are two nations separated by a common language...
This closure should prevent no problems either way, as there is a two mile walk available to see the best wildlife etc etc....but no that is close too. WTF? Apparently it crosses areas being worked on for the tram so is deemed dangerous.....great. So, us and the other streams of tourists turning up to the the centre are basically being told "you can look at the fish tank and then fuck off...."
Luckily, just ten minutes down the road is another trail that promises gators, turtles, and "all sorts of critters" for your delight and delectation so we head off there. We're immediately warned of the $500 fine for feeding or harassing the gators so head off promising not to. Well no such fucking worries, we don't see hide nor hair of a croc all the way round, the closest we get to wildlife is a turtle's head (*ahem*) poking out of the water 50 metres distant. Perhaps the critters are closed too?
Unsuprisingly disappointed, we head off back to the Over Easy Cafe so cold Sams and another enormous plate of delicious food can improve our mood. My chicken in buffalo dressing and blue cheese is immense, eyewateringly spicy and far too big to eat, Lisa's Chicken sandwich with mushrooms, cheese and onions in it as good as the first time I had it. And massive...at least one of us looks ready to have a baby as we leave.
We have heard about this beautiful area called Captiva so after lunch we drive to 10 miles down there to have a look see. well, the houses are amazing, the beaches looks good and it looks like a great way to spend the afternoon. Except for one small detail. There's not one single place you are allowed to park to get to the beaches. There's no car parks and parking along the road is subject to a $100 fine. Jeez, they really want to keep the riff raff out.
A swift turn-around leads us back towards Sanibel and the eponymoulsy named Lighthouse Beach. It’s obviously popular as even at two bucks an hour to park, we can’t find a space. Luckily for us, a man so the spitting image of Uncle Jesse he’s even driving the same truck saunters over and offers us his unexpired parking ticket (1 ½ hours left!) and then directs us to his parking space which is, quite frankly, a result.
It’s easy to see why this is such a popular beach, beautiful white sand, lovely warm sea – actually boiling hot sea, I’m all wrinkly when I get out – and a lovely cooling breeze to just keep the edge off. There are, however a couple of things that lose it points. 1) The Lighthouse. If you’re expecting an imposing Bishop’s Rock type structure, lashed by wind and rain and keeping a 14 million candle power beam lancing out to sea, you’ll be severely disappointed. I’ve seen more impressive looking torches come out of a christmas cracker, and they’d probably be brighter too. It’s funny really, you never expect American’s to do small. 2) The Restrooms. There’s a lovely sign from the car park pointing towards these, but it neglects to mention they are a parsec away. By the time we’ve walked to them, we’re worried that our parking’s run out, having seemingly walked all the way back to Captiva. Fortunately, it’s still just valid when we make it back, and the beach is so nice we stuff another couple of dollars in the meter, laugh at the still queuing sunseekers, and hunker down to some serious sunbathing. Bliss..........
Once we’re medium rare, we set off home to air conditioned comfort and a couple of icy Sams, before heading off to spend our final night here at the The Beach Pierside Grill and Blowfish bar. They’d be stuffed for a name if they weren’t by the pier on the beach, I supposed they’d just be called Bar. Again the food is exceptional. Crab cakes to start, Lisa has the broiled shimp, which over here would no doubt be called grilled lobster, and I have the stuffed shrimp – 10 huge langoustine sized buggers covered in a devilled crab mixture. It’s beyond rich, slightly sickly and fucking awesome. The wine is flowing, the entertainment is great and we’re singing along at the top of our voices to Brown Eyed Girl along with the rest of the bar, and some of the beach too.
It’s too early to call it a night so we head off to the main nightlife area (i.e. the end of the pier...) where the marvellously named Troublemakerz are playing a set of well chosen pop and rock to a quite drunk crowd of locals and vacationers, which includes us on both counts. It makes me laugh like a drain when they play their final song, the extremely apposite “I Would Walk Five Hundered Miles...” which reminds me both of the marathon slog for a piss earlier, and the wobbly booted walk ahead if I want to sleep in a bed tonight! Great end to our visit here, we will be back!
# posted by Bucko! @ 8:33 AM 
