Monday, September 24, 2012
Life's a beach or Bite Night
Friday 23/8
You, like me, might enjoy going to the beach to sample to the delights of sea air, sand between your toes and that marvellous feeling of just lying back on your beach towel, staring at the sky and letting your thoughts drift away into the azure vastness of it all. Except, of course, you live in England, where getting even the 30 odd miles to the coast is a military operation in itself. As soon as the sun appears, it's as if we are all taken over by some communal madness.... If it's not all the shit that needs to be piled into your car before you can even leave your drive, it's the traffic queue you immdiately join once you've reversed off, the crawl all the way there, the hunt for a parking space that cost's you an arm and both legs, and then by the time you've got onto the golden strand the sun's gone and you sit there, wrapped in your cardie being gently drizzled on. And you dropped your ice cream....
Needless to say they do things differently in the good ole US of A.....
Well, Coaster Buddy's foot is still big and bruised, so a walking round the parks is out of the question, so we decided on a road trip to the seaside to visit a place I've wanted to go since I was a small boy - Daytona Beach. We point the bus towards the Space Coast and dial up 101.1 WJRR and rock ourselves all the way there singing at the top of our lungs. And it's sunny....it's already a good day.
When we arrive there's no big traffic queue and no tiny car park filled with sand and pot holes which you can break your ankles in before you've even seen the sea. No, you pay $5 and drive straight down onto the beach - well, so long as you have the driver's window open and your headlights on natch.....
And that's it - park up grab your towel and one of the longest, most beautiful beaches in the world is your playground for the day. Ah, but it is the Atlantic I hear you say, it'll be bloody freezing. Well, it bloody isn't! It's warm and wavey enough for the Three Stooges to go hire a body board and spend the morning becoming official, bona fide surfers. I'm now tall, six-pack bronzed and unendingly cool - bow down before me mere mortals.......
After an exhausting morning of God like surfing from the boys, and pro-style sunbathing from the girls, we adjourn to the Tiki Bar for lunch where they do an amazing burger and draft beer by the jug, and have a mental DJ playing air drums and inflatable guitar along to the tunes he spinning. Actually, he looks rather like Steve Lukather and I could think of no better way to spend my time off from Toto than by kicking back in the sun and having that sort of fun.
Three jugs of beer later, we probably shouldn't be driving anywhere, but the tide is now in and everyone is going English red from too much sun and too little sun cream. It's here we make the first big mistake of the day. We let Conor decide where we're going next. And so we head off to the Canaveral National Seashore.
When we finally arrive there, we make our second mistake. Seeing a big tortoise sunning itself by the side of the road we scream "photo opportunity" and all pile out of the car. Unfortunately, this lets our nemesis of the next few days into the car - sparrow-sized mosquitos. August? Hot weather? Freshly done tourists wearing we are stupid hats? Check the lot.
So with much slapping and cursing we decided to make our third mistake of the day, and it's a doozie. A visit - on Conor's suggestion - to Mosquito lake. I kid you not..slap my arse and call me stupid.
And guess what we find there? Well duh, eagle-sized mozzies that made the previous lot look like pussies - and they've got flick knives too. We're all ravaged within seconds so we beat a hasty retreat to the barge to lick our wounds and head back to the relative safety of Orlando. That if the mozzie fuckers haven't wrecked the bus and left it a smouldering ruin on celcon blocks...
After an exhausting day we head back to Outback for dinner and to compare our bites, which are massive, red and itchy. Here's hoping tomorrow we make fewer mistakes in our trip planning!
You, like me, might enjoy going to the beach to sample to the delights of sea air, sand between your toes and that marvellous feeling of just lying back on your beach towel, staring at the sky and letting your thoughts drift away into the azure vastness of it all. Except, of course, you live in England, where getting even the 30 odd miles to the coast is a military operation in itself. As soon as the sun appears, it's as if we are all taken over by some communal madness.... If it's not all the shit that needs to be piled into your car before you can even leave your drive, it's the traffic queue you immdiately join once you've reversed off, the crawl all the way there, the hunt for a parking space that cost's you an arm and both legs, and then by the time you've got onto the golden strand the sun's gone and you sit there, wrapped in your cardie being gently drizzled on. And you dropped your ice cream....
Needless to say they do things differently in the good ole US of A.....
Well, Coaster Buddy's foot is still big and bruised, so a walking round the parks is out of the question, so we decided on a road trip to the seaside to visit a place I've wanted to go since I was a small boy - Daytona Beach. We point the bus towards the Space Coast and dial up 101.1 WJRR and rock ourselves all the way there singing at the top of our lungs. And it's sunny....it's already a good day.
And that's it - park up grab your towel and one of the longest, most beautiful beaches in the world is your playground for the day. Ah, but it is the Atlantic I hear you say, it'll be bloody freezing. Well, it bloody isn't! It's warm and wavey enough for the Three Stooges to go hire a body board and spend the morning becoming official, bona fide surfers. I'm now tall, six-pack bronzed and unendingly cool - bow down before me mere mortals.......
When we finally arrive there, we make our second mistake. Seeing a big tortoise sunning itself by the side of the road we scream "photo opportunity" and all pile out of the car. Unfortunately, this lets our nemesis of the next few days into the car - sparrow-sized mosquitos. August? Hot weather? Freshly done tourists wearing we are stupid hats? Check the lot.
So with much slapping and cursing we decided to make our third mistake of the day, and it's a doozie. A visit - on Conor's suggestion - to Mosquito lake. I kid you not..slap my arse and call me stupid.
And guess what we find there? Well duh, eagle-sized mozzies that made the previous lot look like pussies - and they've got flick knives too. We're all ravaged within seconds so we beat a hasty retreat to the barge to lick our wounds and head back to the relative safety of Orlando. That if the mozzie fuckers haven't wrecked the bus and left it a smouldering ruin on celcon blocks...
# posted by Bucko! @ 2:42 PM 
