Bucko's World

You wait all year for your posh trip abroad and then what happens? You get a cold, or in my case fatal pleurisy. Coaster buddy was ill too, but luckily she mustered the strength to go shopping with everyone else to the tackiest gift shops imaginable along the 192. The more T-Shirts for $1.99 the better. The torrential rain that had arrived didn’t really seem to dampen spirits too much.

 In the afternoon, with everyone chilling by the pool the deck area suddenly is overshadowed by the wings of some enormous birds, later identified as Turkey Headed Vultures. I’m sure they could sense my impending doom and we just biding their time.



 Talking of wings, we somehow find ourselves spending our evening in a joint called Buffalo Wild Wings. Guess what their signatures dish is? I’ll give you a clue or two…it doesn’t involve a jus or a roué or even something as basic as a boat of gravy. Wings it is then, except they’re boneless – so Buffalo Nuggets would be a more appropriate name. To be completely fair the five different flavours we order range from rank to Japanese flag, stopping at horrible and plain offensive in-between. Add in the fact that you can’t buy wine by the bottle, there’s twenty screens showing sport at deafening volume and people can actually play basketball in the restaurant, and we had to chalk this one up to experience………..until the cab arrived…………….



As always, we asked the restaurant to get us a cab, and when Julia's cabs turned up with a young black guy behind the wheel we expected nothing other than as normal five minute taxi ride home. After we had all buckled up he asked " where you all from?" Unsurprisingly "London" was our reply. "Do you know Welsh people?" he enquired. "A few" we replied. "They is nasty. I had them in my cab last night. Do you know they are sheep shaggers?" We, of course, all burst out laughing. "Yeah, they're well known for that" I replied, "It's the long winter nights you see?" "They told me," our wide eyed cabbie said, "they gets the sheep, they take it to the edge of the cliff, they fuck it, and then they kill it. That's nasty." "You’re not wrong mate" I replied "The Welsh are right dirty bastards, look at that Catherine Zeta Jones for a start!" "I know, they told me." He said. "They're sheep shaggers and they fuck sheep. That's nasty.." I'm biting my fist by this point..... He continued "I went home and I said "Ma, I had these Welsh people in my Taxi and they fucks sheep" and she said to me "Oh Lord, that's nasty."" I helpfully explained that the reason they fuck sheep is to keep warm. "are you sure?" he asked, "coz once you've taken all your clothes off at the top of the cliff before you fuck the sheep surely you'll get cold?" "No, no no, of course not," I explain. "You have to remember, you'll be kept nice and warm coz the sheep always goes on top" "Man, that's nasty!!" explodes our cabbie. "Why does the sheep go on top?" "Well, that simple," I reply "it makes it easier to kiss 'em"